Friday, December 9, 2011

You Fill Me With Delicious Egg Nog Flavored Christmas Ennui


I do so loves me some Krampus. Only in a cuddly country like Germany could they come up with a demon that torments bad children at Christmas because we all know that kids don't deserve any joy at this time of year.

We English kids called him 'Black Peter'. He didn't bother us but he sure didn't like German children for some reason. Getting to eat some strudel and a new pair of leather shorts should be enough for any German kid. Anyone who complains or asks for more usually get's a visit from Brother Krampus here.

You can see why they embraced Father Christmas so strongly. He's the only one with the muscle to deal with this thug and he likes nothing better than riding in on his sleigh to deliver a mighty beat down to the evil Krampus. That can't be the truth. Damn you Wikipedia.

Well I know from personal experience that Krampus either beats you with a bundle of sticks or spirits you away in a basket to god knows where and Bitch takes his job seriously. He's not a sweet or kindly sprite nor can he be 'negotiated' with. He's every kid's Holiday nightmare.

It's all very Grimm Brothers and so anti-spirit of the season that I can't help but wholeheartedly embrace it. He fills me with the dread that was so missing from Christmas. More great Krampus facts as we near the big day.

4 comments:

Wings1295 said...

Eh, I don't get into Krampus much. I think we have so little time to try and spread the joy and spirit of the holidays as it is, we don't need to emphasize the bad. We have all the other time of the year to freakin' deal with that crap.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I just like that it so EUROPEAN...it's like everyone was having a nice Christmas way back and they just HAD to mess things up by throwing this guy into the holiday mix.

Nathan said...

Cannibalism is a popular theme in Germany, for some reason. Maybe it's that all the chocolate the kids eat makes them extra-tasty.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

That's funny. Whenever I think of Hansel and Gretle I think of those two fat german kits snorfing down the witch's candy's and ice cream.